Sunday, January 18, 2015

Addicted To Rum - Bacardi or Captain Morgan?

You can tell by the tint of his nose
And the bedraggled state of his clothes
He's just a poor bum
Addicted to rum
It's the greatest of all of his foes.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

There Once Was A Smile So Contagious - A Limerick

There once was a smile so contagious
That it spread in a way quite outrageous
Then started a laugh
Which reached more than half
The people it met of all ages

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Vaseline Hair Tonic Limerick

A scalp-wise young blade from Peconic
Kept his hair neat with Vaseline Hair Tonic
'Neath hot summer sun
He swam and had fun
And returned with his hair - to Peconic

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Ohio State v. Oregon - Football National Championship - Guess the Score

The Bucks and the Ducks are in it
Which team do you think will win it?
Both teams can score
But who will get more?
They might need point 8 points a minute?

60 minutes x .8 ppm = 48 points

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Ohio State - Oregon National Championship Uniforms - A Limerick

There is a nice team from Eugene
They often wear unis of green
I do not know why
They decided to try
All white, with a horrible sheen.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Ohio State National Championship Limerick

The Bucks played the Tide and won
And now the Southeastern is done
But it'll be war again
When the Bucks play Oregon
I think that these playoffs are fun.

Friday, December 19, 2014

A Reindeer Named Yannick - Funny Christmas Poem

There once was a reindeer named Yannick
Who traveled at speeds supersonic
But heights made him shake
So he needed to take
A spoonful of peppermint tonic.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

How Far Can You Throw a Christmas Tree? A Xmas Limerick Poem

How far can you throw a tree?
Just enter the contest and see.
Crossed fingers for luck
Then give it a chuck
And shout to the heavens with glee!

Friday, December 12, 2014

A Snowman Named Finn - Funny Winter Limerick Poems

There once was a snowman named Finn
Each day, he grew much more thin
Then one sunny day
He just melted away
But we all will remember his grin.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Elsa and the Snow Flurry - Winter Limericks for Kids

When Elsa saw the first flurry
At once, she started to scurry
"I'm getting too old
To handle the cold,"
She said as she found something furry.

Monday, December 8, 2014

So Now, Five Armies Will Battle - The Hobbit Movie - A Limerick (B is for Bilbo)

So now, Five Armies will battle,
To see who controls Smaug's chattel.
Can B. find a way,
To settle the fray,
Or will he sneak out and skedaddle?

Saturday, December 6, 2014

You Are Fired! A Lazy Elf Limerick - Christmas Poems for Kids

An elf with a red pointed hat,
Loved to talk, to eat, and to chat.
He'd rather make noise,
Than help to make toys,
And Santa just cannot have that!

Ohio State v. Wisconsin - Big Ten Championship - A Limerick

From Madison there is a nice team,
To be champs is always their dream,
But on Saturday night,
They'll lose the fight,
The Bucks are as good as they seem.

A Wren That Made Santa Its Hero - Christmas Limericks For Kids

A wren that made Santa its hero
Stayed north till the weather was zero
And when Santa appeared
Snuggled warm in his beard
It rode south to Rio Janeiro

Monday, December 1, 2014

An Old Elf from Nantucket - A Christmas Limerick Poem

There is an old elf from Nantucket
He carries his harp in a bucket
When I asked him why
He gave this reply,
"It makes it so easy to pluck it!

Friday, November 28, 2014

An Elf Named Piper - A Christmas Limerick Poem for Kids

There was a young elf named Piper
At Christmas, she always got hyper
What was the reason
For her crazy season?
She was the lead candy-cane striper.

1931 Peter Paul Mounds Candy Bar Limerick Contest

A wonderful BAR is the MOUNDS
Even though it can stack on the pounds
We can thank PETER PAUL
For having the gall
Even though I'm now BIGGER Around!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

There Once Was A Turkey Named Brock - Thanksgiving Limericks For Children

There once was a turkey named Brock
He proudly led his whole flock
But he just couldn't see
Their grim destiny
And they all ended up in a wok

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

A Turkey Named Harry - Thanksgiving Poems for Kids

There once was a turkey named Harry
Of all human men, he was wary
A man with a knife
Tried to shorten his life
So he lives all alone on the prairie.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

A Turkey Named Grace - Funny Thanksgiving Limericks for Kids

There once was a turkey named Grace
Who could trot at a pretty good pace
Farmer Brown turned his head
So Grace ran and fled
And was gone without leaving a trace.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving - A Limerick

The leaves are now down from the trees
All scattered and blown by the breeze
We ask for God's blessing
(And give thanks for Mom's dressing)
And say, "Pass the roast turkey please!"

Thursday, November 6, 2014

A Turkey Named Dobler - Funny Thanksgiving Limericks for Kids

There once was a turkey named Dobler
His buddies all called him "The Gobbler"
But he was not able
To stay off the table
And he lay beside the peach cobbler.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Thanksgiving Praise - A Limerick - Pass the Gravy

The crops are all in from the field
And the folks all give thanks for the yield
- Giving praise is right
But don't take all night!
I don't like my gravy congealed.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Thanksgiving Pie Recipe and Eating How-To-Guide

If you ask what's my favorite pie
Here is my standard reply
Pumpkin and spice
Is truly quite nice
But apple always catches my eye.

But pecan's always good too
So here's what I like to do
Eat one slice of each
(Yes chocolate and peach)
And berry; straw-, black-, and blue-.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe Guide - A Limerick

Turkeys are not hard to cook
At least if you have the right book
Get expert advice
On cook times and spice
Just buy a good cookbook and look!

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

A Teen Ghoul Named McDimple - Halloween Limericks for Kids

There was a teen ghoul named McDimple
Who thought scaring kids would be simple
He'd moan and he'd groan
Just like he was shown
But the children just stared at his pimple!

Friday, October 24, 2014

Scary Ghost Limerick for Kids

When I saw the two ghosts outside
I admit that I nearly cried
I was so afraid
That the ghostly parade
Would leave me no place to hide!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Haunted House Limerick for Children

The stairs are cracked and creaky
The doors are warped and squeaky
The ghoul in my sight
Fills me with fright
And makes my body all leaky.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Miniature Ghost - Halloween Limericks for Kids

Jack didn't know what to do
When the miniature ghost yelled, "Boo!"
The sound that it made
Didn't make Jack afraid
It was like a young pigeon's soft coo.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Bobbing for Apples - Limerick Contest - Saturday Evening Post

Kay's dress was cute and frilly
The water was dark and chilly
But she closed her eyes
And bobbed for the prize
And made all the boys look silly.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Trick or Treat Costume Limerick for Weiners

There once was a hot dog named Feeney
Who loved to eat ripe zucchini
On 10/31
He put on a bun
And went as a big Halloweenie.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Halloween Wizard Limerick Postcard

Were I a Wizard with a Wand
I'd wave it over you
And all of your troubles
Should turn into bubbles
And all of your Hopes come true.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

A Wizard, The Count J.R. Doyle - Halloween Limerick

A wizard - the Count J.R. Doyle
Wanted to make a gargoyle
He used the right quotient
When he mixed the potion
But just couldn't make the jar boil!

There Once Was A Witch - So Chic A Halloween Limerick

There once was a witch - so chic;
She never, to mortals, did speak.
She wore fancy clothes,
Had a beautiful nose,
And her hair was shiny and sleek.

But her heart was evil and black;
She needed the world out-of-whack.
She cast a foul potion
Into the ocean,
And made all the starfish go, "Quack."

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

A Goblin Named Zeke - Halloween Limerick for Children

There is a young goblin named Zeke
He loves to make children scream, "Eek!"
He hides in your toys
And then makes a noise
So close your eyes tight and don't peek.

Monday, October 13, 2014

The Reaper is Wary and Fickle - A Halloween Limerick

The Reaper is wary and fickle
As he glides with his cape and sickle
With no face to smile
(Been dead for awhile)
He's a very hard guy to tickle.