Saturday, April 19, 2014

A Good Friday - Easter Miracle Limerick

When the guilt of sin does seize us,
We should turn to our brother, Jesus,
His death on the cross,
Was truly a loss,
But the miracle on Easter - it frees us.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

There Once Was a Man up a Tree - Vintage Postcard Limerick

There once was a man up a tree
Who was horribly bored by a bee
When they said, "Does it buzz?"
He replied, "Yes it does!
It's a regular brute of a bee."

Friday, April 11, 2014

Vintage Limerick - There Once Was A Cat And A Mouse

There once was a cat and a mouse
Who ran all the way 'round the house
First the mouse 'twas that led
Then the cat got ahead
But the head was that of the mouse.

Friday, April 4, 2014

A Pretty Young Woman Named Susan - Vintage Swimming Limerick

A pretty young woman named Susan
Went wading one day with her shoeson
When she came back to land
With her shoes full of sand
Then she found it was not so amus'n'

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Dayton Flyers NCAA Basketball Tourney 2014 Cinderella - A Limerick

The Flyers plucked every last feather
From the Cardinal, so now we'll see whether
The team can unite
And fight the good fight
And turn the Gator to leather.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Noah's Ark Movie Limerick

Old Noah knew just what to do
He led them on board two by two
But I'm so forlorn
Cause there's no unicorn
And I hoped the old fables were true.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Dayton Flyers - 2014 NCAA Cinderella - A Limerick

For this we've been patiently waitin'
The Sweet Sixteen includes Dayton
It means Archie's crew
Knows just what to do
So let's have some more celebratin'!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

The Bold Milliner - Vintage Vinegar Valentine Postcard

I admire the bold milliner's grit
It savors of true Irish wit
As she jumbles together
Rag, buckle and feather
And charges a twenty for it.

Here's to the girl I love - A vintage leather-postcard limerick

Here's to the girl I love
I wish that she were nigh
If drinking beer
Would bring her here
I'd drink the whole place dry

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

March Madness with Thad Matta and the Ohio State Buckeyes

The Bucks are coached by The Thadness,
He fills the fans with much gladness,
And now starts the journey,
The end of year tourney,
Otherwise known as March Madness.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Secret Mystery of St. Patrick Revealed in Limerick Verse!

Nothing but limericks I write
No subject’s too big or too trite
So here’s a true story
That isn’t too gory
About a young lad’s dreadful plight

In Scotland, did young Patrick dwell
His life was comfy and swell
Irish brigands did float
To his home in a boat
And took him to Ireland to sell

In Ireland, Pat was a slave
And he did his best to behave
He herded the swine
Till given a sign
And left without even a wave

To home, as fast as he could
He thought, was proper and good
But he had a vision
And made a decision –
Return to Ireland he would

For Patrick, this wasn’t a game
So first, a priest he became
He returned to the isle
With nary a smile
And focused on spreading Christ’s name

There were many bad serpents about
But Patrick had never a doubt
With force he did pray
Each and every day
And the devils and snakes he cast out

So party, green beer and all
But please do your best to recall
That Patrick’s the reason
For this happy season
As you finish your pub-to-pub crawl

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

A Leprechaun Named Finn - St. Patrick's Day Limerick for Kids

There once was a leprechaun named Finn
He had not a hair on his chin
But up on his head
His hair was all red
And he had the orneriest grin!

Friday, March 7, 2014

Vintage Chester Illinois Postcard Limerick

Well, here I am in Chester, Ill.
Enjoying its sights and cheer
Everything's great
And I'm feeling first rate
But oh! how I wish you were here.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Fan-Tastic Squirrel - Vintage Limerick

Said a squirrel who raced with a fan:
"You are built on a wonderful plan;
But you'd better take care
Or you'll lose all your hair.
I advise you to stop, if you can."

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Where The Wild Things Are

There was a young boy who was wild,
His actions, his mother, they riled,
So she sent him to bed,
Wild things filled his head,
When he awoke he felt peaceful and mild.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Saint Patrick, He Is A Great One (A Limerick)

That Patrick, he is a great one,
His staff, it's surely a straight one,
He drives out the snakes,
While good Christians he makes,
Of Ireland, he is the patron.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

An Old Fellow Named Jed - A Classic Ghost Story Limerick

There once was an old fellow named Jed
Who most harrowing ghost stories read
He sat up all night
And shivered with fright
Till the hair stood straight up on his head

Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Humble, Brown Snail - Limericks for Children

Consider the humble, brown snail
He's only a head and a tail
No fingers or toes
Yet, there he goes!
Just follow its shiny, bright trail.

Friday, February 21, 2014

A Johnny Cueto - Cincinnati Reds Baseball Limerick

If you have an unwanted tomato
Or onion, or squash, or potato
To toss it with speed
These words you should heed
"Just give it to one Johnny Cueto!"

Thursday, February 20, 2014

For Sale - One Brown and White Cow - Limericks for Kids

For Sale! One brown and white cow
She won't pull a cart or a plow
But feed her fresh hay
And two times a day
She'll give chocolate milk - don't know how!?

Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Olympians - A Winter Olympics Limerick

Some ski, some sled, some skate
They're thinking a gold would be great
A handheld device
Or a telly'd be nice
To watch and to learn of their fate.

Friday, February 7, 2014

She Seems So Thin And Willowy (A Vinegar Valentine Limerick)

She seems so thin and willowy,
Her movements lithe and billowy, --
She tells you quite freely,
'Tis walking that really
Prevents her from growing too fat!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Secret Uses of Lemon Jello - A Limerick

Pete was a very odd fellow
He loved to make lemon jello
But he did not savor
The stuff for its flavor - 
He used it to paint his house yellow.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Dramatic Actress - Vintage Limerick Postcard

She thinks she's a dramatic queen
And that all of the critics are "mean"
But the thespian art
She brings to a part
Is some wiggles and lots of blondine.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

A Young Man from Spain - A Math Limerick

There was a young man from Spain
He had a very small brain
Math wasn't easy
It made him feel queasy
So he moved to a cabin in Maine.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Valentine's Day Is Nigh - A Valentine Limerick

Yes Valentine's Day is nigh
So watch for the cute, little guy
A dart from his quiver
Will make your heart shiver
- You're smitten, and will not know why.

Friday, January 31, 2014

An Expert With Arrows and Bows - A Valentine's Cupid Limerick

He's expert with arrows and bows
Your heart's true desire, he knows
Love once invited
Will leave you excited
Your love, it then blossoms and grows.

Friday, January 24, 2014

I Need A Sign Of Spring - A Limerick

I'm looking for one certain thing
- A sign of the upcoming Spring.
Show me a robin
So I can stop sobbin'
The icy wind makes my eyes sting!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Diaper Change Limerick

When changing a two-year-old's diaper
You must be a diligent wiper
If you don't get it clean
You'll see what I mean
The smell will get riper and riper.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Martin Luther King, Jr. Limerick

"I have a dream," he said
Then four years later, he's dead
Though he is gone
His spirit lives on
For freedom, his blood, he shed.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Who Is Your Favorite President - Part 2 - Limericks for Middle Schoolers

I've studied the 43 men*
And made up my mind only when
After much thinkin'
Decided that Lincoln
Was clearly the best that has been.

*Obama is the 44th President, but Grover Cleveland was president for two nonconsective terms, so only 43 different men have been President

Monday, January 13, 2014

Who Is Your Favorite President? Part 1 - A President's Day Limerick for Kids

Now President's Day is nigh
So who is your favorite guy?
A William or John,
Or maybe a Ron,
Or the one who could not tell a lie.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

There Was A Young Lady of Lucca - Vintage Leather Postcard Limerick

There was a young lady of Lucca
Who said when your lovers forsook her
"Oh I've no regrets
I'll take my castanets
And play and dance a cachuca!"

If You Marry A Girl Athlete - Vintage Postcard Limerick

If you marry a girl athlete
E'en though she be sweet and petite
'Twill be your fate
If you come late
To hastily beat a retreat.